What's A-Parent

Why Parents Shouldn't Feel Guilty Ordering Pizza For Dinner

"Could it be possible that all of the things I tear myself apart for, all of the things I hate myself for, aren’t as important as I think?"

What's A-Parent is a series highlighting those who get real about the hardships that come with raising kids. These often untold stories help show parents they are not alone in their struggle, and are doing an amazing job.

With all the burdens mothers bear, it's not uncommon for these hardworking parents to lighten their load whenever possible. However, with each shortcut comes mounting guilt. Author and mother Bunmi Laditan's recent viral Facebook post captures this sentiment with candid wit and precision, as she shares the myriad of emotions that topped her recent Domino's pizza order.

While Laditan explores the inner monologue every mother recites when she feels like she's let her children down — "A better mom would have put those away and have the week's meals all planned out" -- she also comes to the realization that, above all else, her children are happy despite her so-called flaw.

Laditan, who published her novel Confessions of a Domestic Failure last year, notes that, while she clearly likes to joke about her supposed failures, deep down, she feels true guilt for not being "a better mom" for her children.

"A better mom wouldn't have spent $200 at the grocery store yesterday and have pizza on the way right now," she posted to Facebook alongside a screenshot of the Domino's Delivery Tracker app. "A better mom would have washed the kids' sheets today and cleared the mail, toy, and other random clutter off of the kitchen counter. She wouldn't have so many toys in the family room and a dried strawberry milk ring on the coffee table."

Of course, countless moms commented on her post, echoing the sentiment and praising her decision:

During her latest bout of shame, however, Laditan stopped to ask her two oldest children if they were happy, to which one replied, "Why wouldn't we?"

"Could it be possible that all of the things I tear myself apart for, all of the things I hate myself for, aren't as important as I think?" she wrote in response, acknowledging that she's likely her biggest, harshest critic of them all. Laditan's post ultimately empowers other moms to recognize that, in the end, kids care more about time spent together than time spent cooking dinner. Sure, everyone needs to eat, but that doesn't mean parents need to slave over the stove all evening. 

And, regardless of any negative feedback, whether internal or external, Laditan knows that she need not worry so much, as she provides constant comfort, even if it's not always in the form of comfort food.

"I give really good hugs. I listen to them. I massage their backs some nights when I they're having trouble settling down. We laugh. They feel safe and like coming home."

"If my motherhood were a cake it wouldn't be fancy, but it would taste good," she adds. "I need to let that be enough, I will let that be enough.

Cover image via  Ruslan Guzov / Shutterstock

(H/T: Scary Mommy)

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