Love, Lindsay

I Asked People 'Would You Date Someone With Different Political Views Than You?'

All your relationship questions answered — right here, right now.

In 2018, nothing seems more divisive than politics, but how does your party affiliation (or lack thereof) play into your dating life? More people have become politically engaged over the last two years, so it's not all that surprising that someone's political views can impact who they choose to date. 

With the Fourth of July behind us and the November midterm elections on the horizon (register to vote here), I decided to ask people, "Would you date someone whose political views differed from yours?" First, I polled A Plus' Facebook audience, and the results were a near even split. Of those who voted, 51 percent said they would date someone with different political views, while 49 percent said they wouldn't.

To delve further into this issue, I took to the streets of New York City to ask five Americans — and one Brit — the same question. 

One young woman, Kaya, was a hard no. "Like if they were liberal, like a Democrat, sure, but if they were a Republican, I don't think so. I don't know. I think it would be really difficult," she told me. "... No. Yeah, I don't know. No. No. Final answer. No." 

"I think that when you're in relationships, you want to be with someone who kind of has similar views to you. Now, you don't have to match everything that you say and do and believe in," she continued. "But I think that that is the core of your relationship is having similar values so I think it's a little strange, or a little off-putting when you guys have different views ... For me, it would be." 

Another single woman, Christine, agreed — having learned from previous experience that opposites may attract, but not for long. "The first guy I dated after my marriage [separation] was of the opposite political party and, you know, it was a rough time in New York City and the United States and I was like, 'I don't know if I can do this,'" she explained. "And the first few dates ... we had some really interesting conversations, but it was cut short. Not because of politics, but because of values that might be associated with that. So after that I realized I wouldn't date someone else who was of the opposite political view that I am." 

Men, on the other hand, seemed more open to dating someone with different political views. For Ian*, his decision hinged on the degree of difference between their views. "Absolutely I would. The only time that I think it would pose a problem is if the views are so drastically different that it affects my life," he said. "... If it was little things here and there that made us just different people and different personalities, then that's fine. But if the person that I was dating was so different that it went against what I believe makes me a person, I just don't think I could be attracted to somebody that [did that]." 

"The bigger issues like when it comes to social justice and race and religion ... I think it reflects who we are and would make a huge difference in my relationship with somebody," he added. "But if she believes that we should be taxed more to fix potholes on the road, and I would rather keep that money or vice versa then, you know, I think we could manage." 

Another man, Nick, was similarly open to dating someone with different political views, though when I asked him if he'd dated anyone like that before, he said, "I am not honestly sure about that. I didn't really ask." To clarify, Nick further explained, "As much as, like, everyday, current events come up in conversation... obviously that's political, but we never are like 'You're a conservative,' 'You're a liberal,' 'You're independent,' 'You're whatever,' you know, because there are so many different categories now ... " 

Overall, it seems like people polar opposite politics usually aren't a match made in heaven, but that's what's so great about America. Everyone has the freedom to date — and marry — whoever you want. Just as importantly, you have the freedom to not only express those political views, but decide how much those views manifest in your everyday life. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, you can always learn something from the other side of any political issue — even if it's just how much you disagree. 

Lindsay here, A Plus's resident relationship guru/columnist. While I may not know everything, I do know a lil something about love and our seemingly endless pursuit of it. Having written dozens of A Plus articles about dating, relationships, and sex, I'm ready and willing to investigate all of your romantically-inclined questions (submit here!) — because I've asked them myself. What I hope to bring to A Plus's readers is a sex-positive, body-positive, and most importantly, you-positive perspective on modern love. Consider Love, Lindsay your digital Cupid.

*Name changed

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