Love, Lindsay

Are Modern Dating Trends A 'Trick' Or A 'Treat'? I Asked Real People To Weigh In.

I Asked People If Modern Dating Trends Were A 'Trick' Or A 'Treat': Part 2

Halloween is fast approaching, but if you're still looking for that perfect spooky costume, you might want to consider dressing up as a modern dating trend

No, seriously. It's getting pretty scary out there on the dating scene. Beyond ghostinghaunting, and zombieing, today's daters also have to deal with scary dating trends like phubbing and Tindstagramming. 

Though some dating trends may seem like nothing but tricks, others can be considered a treat — depending on who you ask. That's why I took to the streets of New York City to ask people if these common dating trends were a "trick" or a "treat." Here's what they said: 

1. Drafting

Definiton: From late summer into early fall, singletons date a ton of people and then begin to narrow down their prospects in hopes of having a guaranteed cuffing buddy before the cold winter. 

Survey says ... it's a TREAT

Nearly everyone agreed drafting was a treat, so long as the person knows they're being drafted for a designated season. "I feel like it's a treat because that's what dating is," one man named Steven noted. "You're dating a lot of people and you gotta narrow it down eventually, but it seems like it's really smart because you're doing it for a specific targeted date." 

2. Phubbing

Definition: A combination of "phone" and "snubbing," phubbing is exactly what it sounds like — snubbing the real person you're with because you're glued to your phone.  

Survey says ... it's a TRICK

No question about this one. Everyone I interviewed unanimously agreed that phubbing was a trick, and they didn't want it played on them. Brianna, a college student, summed it up pretty perfectly. "Definitely trick," she said. "Like, buh bye."

3. Tindstagramming

Definition: When you see someone on a dating app, then slide into their Instagram DMs before matching with them. 

Survey says ... it's a TRICK

"Don't go into the Instagram DMs!" is what most people would shout at the horror movie starring this scary dating trend. The majority of people told me Tindstagramming creeped them out, Brianna was open to it. She said she'd at least read the Instagram DM before making a decision either way. 

That's a pretty rare reaction to a tricky dating trend, according to one man's, Ryan, personal experience.  "I've never done it before [but] I certainly know people who have," he explained. "I don't think the success rate is very high."

4. Breezing

Definition: When a dater is direct and says what they want in a relationship — basically the opposite of following dating "rules" or playing games.

Survey says ... it's a TREAT

Because breezing is the anti-"dating trend" trend, it makes sense that most people welcomed it as a breath of fresh air. Though some of the people did express slight reservations about being too direct on a first date, everyone generally preferred someone who wasn't into playing mind games. "I kind of like it when a guy is just very direct, you know, lays it on the table and says what he wants. I can respect that," one man, Eric, said. 

A woman, Barrie, agreed. "Total treat. I love honesty," she explained. "That would be the best because I'm super straightforward and expect others to be as well." 

As tricky as some dating trends might be, every heartache teaches you something valuable about yourself and what you like. So when you meet the right person, it's a treat sweeter than Halloween candy. 

Lindsay here, A Plus's resident relationship guru/columnist. While I may not know everything, I do know a lil something about love and our seemingly endless pursuit of it. Having written dozens of A Plus articles about dating, relationships, and sex, I'm ready and willing to investigate all of your romantically-inclined questions (submit here!) — because I've asked them myself. What I hope to bring to A Plus's readers is a sex-positive, body-positive, and most importantly, you-positive perspective on modern love. Consider Love, Lindsay your digital Cupid.

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