17 Things That Happen When You're Obsessed With Your Hair

"That's why her hair's so big. It's full of secrets."

Because hair comes in so many different colors, textures, and lengths, it's one of the few parts of your physical appearance you can change to reflect your personality.

Whether you're styling it, cutting it, or just twirling it around your finger, you view your hair as an outward expression of your individuality. And because self-expression in any form is great, taking care of it is more than just a little important to you. Sure, some might say you're obsessed, but you prefer the term "coiffure connoisseur." 

Either way, you can probably relate to these 17 truths about your beloved tresses:

1. Anything less than perfection is considered a bad hair day.

Oh, one piece won't behave? Welp, there goes any plans to leave the house.

2. Maybe (definitely) that's why you take forever to get ready ... and love every minute of it.

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it took her two hours. 

3. Nothing makes you happier than those rare "I woke up like dis" mornings.


4. You do everything in your power to avoid a single drop of unwanted moisture ruining your latest masterpiece.

When such modern marvels as shower caps and dry shampoo exist, there's absolutely no need to watch all your hard work go down the drain (literally).

5. You might even say you plan your life around your hair.

Or you might not need to. Your luscious locks speak for themselves. 

6. Your most treasured relationship is with your hairdresser.

Harry from When Harry Met Sally might as well have been talking to his hairdresser: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody [who treats your hair with as much care as their own], you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." 

Your hairdresser is irreplaceable, and not just because they're the only person who can talk you off the ledge when you want to get bangs. 

7. Friends often ask you to style their hair.

Whether a friend needs hair help before a first date or a night out, you're always the go-to hair guru. Good thing you mastered your style eons ago and are always up for a challenge.

8. You have so many hair products, your bathroom could double as a museum.

You want leave-in conditioners? I've got 20! But who cares? No big deal...

9. But that doesn't stop you from crying whenever you run out of your favorite one.

What did I do to deserve this? (Seriously, tell me, and I'll undo it in a second.) 

10. Humidity is Public Enemy #1.

 You looked cute ...  and then you went outside. Welcome to Frizz City. Population: You. 

11. If your favorite heat styling tool breaks, you don't know how you'll go on without it.

RIP beloved CHI flat iron. I knew thee well. 

12. The only person allowed to touch your hair is you. And yes, violators will be prosecuted.

So what if you're a little "paranoid"? Sometimes hairspray isn't enough of a forcefield. 

13. Disney princesses didn't give you unrealistic hair expectations. They gave you #goals.

Unrealistic expectations about men? Sure, but you've been nailing that hair flip for years. 

14. But you still have to play it cool whenever someone compliments you.

What, this ole thing? I've had it since I was a baby! 

15. You consider your hairstyling technique a fine art...

While you're not painting the Mona Lisa or sculpting David, achieving the perfect curl does require some of the same fine motor skills. 

16. ...And your best kept secret.

In the words of Top Gun's Maverick, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." Or, in the words of Kellis, "I could teach you, but I'd have to charge." 

17. You tell everyone you know when you're having a good hair day ... even if that's every day.

They probably already noticed (how could they not?), but you just want to make sure. 

Cover photo via Unsplash


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