11 Rookie Mistakes People Make In Relationships (And How To Avoid Them)

Advice from Redditors.

Relationships take work, that's the bad news. The good news is that if both people are willing to put the work in, they can have a partnership like no other. Now, that doesn't mean nobody makes mistakes — no one is perfect. But the key is to learn from those mistakes or watch out for them so they don't happen in the first place. 

Reddit users from across the Web came together and detailed a few "rookie mistakes" people often make in relationships. We compiled them below with some commentary and a way to prevent each mistake to make your love life a whole lot easier. 

Check them out below.


1. "Bringing your issues/concerns or hang ups from your old relationship into the new one."

"Don't punish your new love for your ex's mistakes," says Reddit user twomangocats.

DO: Look at every relationship as a clean slate, while still remembering the past enough to learn from the mistakes, whether they were yours or someone else's. 

2. "Thinking everything is going to magically fall into place."

"It takes active effort from both sides to maintain the relationship. Problems will happen and both need to be able to work with them," says Reddit user Boker49.

DO: Take time to work on problems as they come, not leave them to build up. 

3. "Criticizing the other person over unimportant things."

According to Reddit user Tea and Crackers that means little quips like "you don't do this right, you don't do that right ... do everything the way I do it, or it's wrong, etc."

DO: Take a pause when you feel yourself criticizing and ask if it's really worth the feelings and effort. 

4. "Thinking the other person will fundamentally change if you just try harder/stick it out longer."

"People only change when court ordered or if they want to," says user jamesbra.

DO: Give people the benefit of the doubt, but if they don't change, you have to do what's best for you. Seek others who love you for support. 

5. "Thinking you need to spend 100 percent of your time either together or communicating."

User lynnifer: "It's perfectly fine to not know where your partner is for five minutes."

DO: Make time for friends and family hangouts just on your own. You'll get your space and give both you and your partner the chance to grow as individuals — which will hopefully help your love grow, too. 

6. "Not admitting you are wrong even when you know you are wrong."

Astraf's is pretty self-explanatory. 

DO: Take responsibility when you are in the wrong. 

7. "Getting clingy/dependent. Saying 'I'm sorry' a lot and constantly asking 'is anything wrong?' Just generally having low self-esteem."

"Few things are less attractive than a person who can't be happy by themselves, who require their SO's approval to feel alright. If you put someone on a pedestal, you're forcing them to look down on you," wrote user Oz6702.

DO: Have confidence in yourself and trust in your partner that things are OK. If things aren't OK, talk it out. 

8. "Never talking about marriage until it's too late!" (If you want to get married that is!) — dejacoup

DO: When the time is right, but not too late, always discuss deal-breakers important to you. 

9. "Assuming some sort of character or persona that you think will impress/win them over."

Otherwise known as being the person you think they want you to be instead of who you are. 

DO: Be who you are.

10. Not being "willing to have the hard conversations."

"You will sometimes have to risk everything to fix something that really matters," says dryanj. "If this ends the relationship, they weren't the right person."

DO: Be honest, talk about the hard things, otherwise they'll build up and blow up. 

11. "Taking it for granted."

"Always try to surprise your SO now and then, break the routine," advises WastelandWanderer. 

DO: Be careful with the feelings of another, and take the time to stop and thank them for all that they do — or reciprocate. 


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