Tattooed Mom Responds To Woman Who Says She Doesn't Look Like The 'Mom Type'

"Motherhood isn't an exclusive club that you can only get into if you look or act the right way."

Becoming a mom or dad can spark friendships, strengthen relationships, and bring parents closer to their community. But with parenthood also often comes unsolicited criticism. Whether it be from someone calling a dad a child just for being silly with his kids at the grocery store, or from commenters chastising a mom for allowing her daughter to dye her hair, parent-shaming is all too common. 

Last month, U.K.-based mommy blogger Gylisa Jayne heard one of these unwarranted negative comments: She was told she didn't look like the "mom type." Janye tried to shrug it off, but after a few days, she found the comment still bothered her, so she took to Facebook to respond to the idea that there's such thing as a "typical" mom

"A 'mother' has to live up to a certain standard, and it isn't just taking care of your own kid," she wrote. "Mothers are meant to sacrifice every aspect of themselves, to fulfill their role. Mothers aren't allowed expensive bags, or shopping trips out, or to have a fresh manicure every few weeks. Mothers aren't meant to have tattoos, or colored hair or piercings. Mothers aren't supposed to have histories of being reckless, feckless or just plain fun. Mothers aren't meant to have had a colorful life of experiences before they bear children, they are expected to forget their identity to raise someone else."


But Jayne, a mother of one who also has bright pink hair, tattoos, and piercings, knows none of these things actually define motherhood. 

"How can we raise our children effectively if we haven't experienced a bit of life beforehand? Without navigating my own checkered past, how could I possibly hope to guide a new soul through similar times?" she continued. "Motherhood isn't an exclusive club that you can only get into if you look or act the right way. It's full of women that all have lives and tales and colorful histories. Women of every type, from every background and every descent. Women that swear, women that don't, women that are real, and women that don't give a fuck about what you think. So I might not fit someone else's expectations of how I should be, but my daughter reckons I'm doing a pretty good job." 

It isn't always easy for parents to shake off the negative comments, but Jayne's post is a reminder that what really matters is that they're doing right by their kids. Moms and dads don't need to conform to what anyone else expects them to look or be like. Parenthood doesn't fit neatly into a small box. It looks different on everyone. 

Cover image via Unsplash

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