John Legend Opens Up About Difficult IVF Journey With Chrissy Teigen

“You want to feel like everything’s working properly and want everything to be perfect, but sometimes it’s not."

We often hear about how exciting trying to conceive is for many couples. But we don't talk enough about how miserable, challenging, time-consuming, and expensive it can be for many others. For some, trying to get pregnant means having lots of enjoyable, unprotected sex with their partner. For others, it means tons of doctors appointments, costly procedures, and disappointment. 

When we don't have many conversations about fertility issues, we leave many couples who suffer from them to feel inadequate and alone. And some people may not understand crucial information about infertility. For example, fertility struggles are often thought of as only a woman's condition, but the truth is both men and women can contribute to infertility. 

"About 12% of women aged 15 to 44 years in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, regardless of marital status," according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That means millions of couples in the U.S. struggle to get pregnant including John Legend and Chrissy Teigen. 

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In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan, Legend opened about how the struggles he and Teigen faced trying to conceive affected their relationship. 

"Having a baby is a big challenge for a couple, and going through that together strengthens your bond because if you make it through [having a child], you know you can make it through anything," he said. 

The couple tried in vitro fertilization, which requires a rigorous regimen of shots, pills, and doctor visits a few times before successfully becoming pregnant. They had their first child together, a daughter they named Luna, in April 2016. Teigen recently revealed the couple plans to start the IVF process over again as they try for baby No. 2. 

"I think it's especially difficult when you can't conceive naturally. You want to feel like everything's working properly and want everything to be perfect, but sometimes it's not," Legend said. "I wouldn't say we can't conceive naturally, but I would say that it's enough of a challenge where it felt like we needed help. We're lucky that we're living in an age where we can conceive in other ways. [IVF] brought us Luna and hopefully, it will bring us a few more awesome kids, too."

In the past, Teigen has spoken about how difficult struggling to get pregnant was for her. "Emotionally, it could be really hard when you have these high-highs and low-lows, and you're, like, cuckoo pants," she told Self in 2016. "You don't want to get your hopes up, but of course, you do." 

She revealed that Legend was her rock throughout the whole experience. "He completely understands everything; he's a sweet, sentimental, emotional guy," she said. 

Legend echoed those sentiments in his recent interview while discussing Teigen's decision to cut back on alcohol. "We're always honest with each other, so we discuss everything that's on our minds," he said. "I just want to support her. I want her to be happy and to live the fullest, most awesome life she can, and I want us to do it together. Whenever she sets her mind to anything, I always tell her, 'I want to support you and help you do it.' "

Though Legend admits the couple has no problems with open communication in their relationship, he doesn't want to present himself as the "perfect spouse."

"I don't want to present our relationship as the 'perfect relationship' because I don't think anybody meets that definition. I think it's too much pressure to put on anyone. However, I don't mind being known as somebody who's devoted to their wife. I am devoted to Chrissy. And when I write about [my commitment to her], it's me being authentic," he said. "I think it should be cool to be a good partner, a good spouse, a good father, and/or a good parent. If I'm one of the people who helps make that cooler, I think that's great." 

We're glad to see that Legend and Teigen don't shy away from having difficult conversations about infertility, maintaining a healthy, but imperfect relationship, and the emotional challenges that come along with both. 

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