5 Tips For Being A Gentleman To Help Any Guy Usher Chivalry Into The Modern Era

"A gentleman’s goal when interacting with others is to bring out the best in them."

Most of us have been told that chivalry is dead. In some ways, this might be seen as progress as people step away from traditional gender roles, but that doesn't mean being a gentleman is a lost art. In fact, there are countless ways to be a gentleman that are in keeping with tradition, but don't feel confining. While there are clearly countless men out there who don't know the first thing about how to be a gentleman, the rules for being a gentleman are relatively simple and timeless. Here are five simple tips for being a gentleman that can help any guy usher chivalry into the modern era. 


1. Keep your promises.

As Krissy Brady writes for LifeHack, a big part of being a gentleman is respecting others' time and meaning what you say. "If you say you're going to meet someone at a specific time, don't be late. When you tell someone you're going to help them with something, help them. When you promise you'll have a project done by a certain date, meet your deadline," she explains. "Not only will this build trust with those you care about, it will also help build self-trust, a crucial-yet-underrated form of trust when you're a gentleman."

2. Show respect for others.

According to Unkept Gentleman, a respectable man never makes others feel inferior. "In fact, a gentleman's goal when interacting with others is to bring out the best in them. This is seen in the genuine interest he shows when people are talking and being fully present rather than allowing his mind to wander."

Showing respect for other people's bodies, especially in the midst of the #MeToo Movement, also reinforces your gentleman-like qualities. You know "no means no" and you adhere to these boundaries regardless of race or gender.

3. Watch your language.

"Being foulmouthed — especially in social gatherings — does not make you cool, at all," Paul Timothy Mangay writes for LovePanky. " ... To be safe, use neutral words in conversations and never use words that you don't really know the meaning of, just for the sake of a good impression. A true gentleman would never bring up disturbing stories and inappropriate remarks, even in a casual atmosphere."

4. Dress to impress.

Classic gentlemen always presented themselves with the utmost care. Such habits demonstrated self-respect — and respect for others — as this outward appearance indicated they were reliable and honest.

"When you are in public, do not dress as if you were at home on the couch," Paired Life suggest. "Gentlemen look respectable no matter where they go. This does not mean that you ought to wear dress shirts to the grocery store, but you should at least take the time to comb your hair and look presentable in public."

5. Mind your manners.

Chivalry isn't dead because, at it's core, chivalry is simply manners in motion. For instance, as Kate Bailey writes for Thought Catalog, "You offer to hold the door as a matter of courtesy, not only for someone you are on a date with, but just for people coming in and out of the store, as any upstanding citizen would. You offer to pay for the date if you were the one who asked them to go out with you. You straightforwardly ask someone to go out with you even if you feel nervous doing so." As Bailey says, these rules are all just a matter of simple common courtesy, meaning they can be applied to women, too, of course. 

If we all followed these simple tips, gentlemen and women alike, perhaps the world would be a nicer place to live. 

Cover image via Oren Atias I Unsplash


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