Women Who Hate Compliments Are Surprised With Kind Words From Friends

"Now you got the tears! You got what you wanted!"

If you're a woman who has ever received a compliment, you may relate to that awkward, uncomfortable feeling you get after hearing the praise. Think of all the times someone has complimented your accomplishments, your style, or your features. Do you accept with a "Thank you," or do you go into deflect mode? Many women who receive compliments do the latter — particularly when the compliment is from another woman

In fact, research suggests that only 22 percent of compliments for women given by other women are accepted. This is attributed to the fact that women do not want to come across as "cocky" or "too confident."


Photo by 胡 卓亨 on Unsplash

Sometimes it's way easier to give girls compliments than to be the girl receiving them. Of course, it's helpful to keep in mind that the best compliments for women are ones based on who they are as a person and the things they contribute to the world, rather than focusing on their looks. Still no matter the compliment, it's hard figuring out how to respond. 

"In our culture, there is this unspoken rule that women are supposed to be modest," Alyson Lanier, a psychotherapist and life coach in Wilmington, North Carolina, told Women's Health magazine. "If we accept a compliment fully, the fear is that it's going to come off as bragging." 

But it's not just about bragging, some women also don't even truly believe the compliments. In a new BuzzFeed video, women who hate compliments explain why praises make them feel uncomfortable. 

"Getting compliments makes me uncomfortable because I immediately get in my head about it," said one woman in the video.

 "What makes me feel weird about it is that I don't know the person's intention," said another woman. "Are you feeling sorry for me? Are you trying to get money out of me?"

Despite their aversion to good compliments, the women were surprised with compliments from their friends and colleagues. Each received a personal video featuring three of their friends showing their appreciation. It was an emotional experience to say the least. Since the compliments for the women were given via video, there was no opportunity for them to deflect or reject the love.

"It's really nice to know that I have these people in my life who are so supportive and do think so highly of me," said one teary-eyed participant. 

Despite social expectations, we should all feel worthy of love. When someone sees and acknowledges how awesome you are, own it. Sometimes we get so in our heads that our insecurities get the best of us. In reality we are OK, we are loved, and we are deserving of all the appreciation that comes our way.

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