Troubled By 'The Singular Image Of A Bride Society Has,' This Woman Decided To Wear No Makeup On Her Big Day

"A girl should not need a whitening lotion, a gold necklace, or an expensive saree to be accepted as a bride."

Many consider a "proper" bride to have an expensive and elaborate gown with glamorous hair and makeup. But, of course, the idea that there is only one way to look like a bride is absurd, as every person can choose to celebrate their big day in whatever way makes them feel best on the inside.

Proving this point is bride Tasnim Jara, who chose to not wear makeup on her wedding day. 

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While it's great some brides do choose to wear makeup and feel more confident because of it, this wasn't the case for Jara. She points out that some brides feel pressured to look a certain way only to fit society's standards and that we should be fighting against such pressure so every bride can have a day she feels is her own. 

"I was troubled by the singular image of a bride that our society has – with tons of makeup, a weighty dress, and mounds of jewelry weighing her down," she explained in a Facebook post. "Don't be fooled. This lavish image of a bride does not represent the financial well-being or agency of a woman in the family. This sometimes rather happens against their will. As if the society has decided that if we really have to spend money on women, we spend it against their will and for a cause that won't do them any good."

She explains how she has heard people gossiping about the bride's appearance at the majority of weddings she's attended and how a bride can feel pressured to "look for the best makeup artist in town," and pay "a hefty amount in time, money and energy, and end up looking nothing like herself; because the society constantly reminds her that her actual skin color isn't good enough for her own wedding."

"A girl should not need a whitening lotion, a gold necklace, or an expensive saree to be accepted as a bride or to make her feel confident. So I arrived at my wedding venue wearing my dadu’s saree, with zero makeup and no jewelry. People may call it simple, but it was very special to me, for what I believe in and what it means to me."

Jara said that even at her own wedding she faced resistance from people about her decision, and that certain family members wouldn't take a photo of her because she didn't "dress like a bride." However, she did receive praise from a few family members and from her groom, Khaled Saifullah.

She wrote, "Shoutout to the few family members who have supported me in this, and special shoutout to this person beside me, Khaled, who has not only supported me unconditionally but also beamed at me with so much pride, for taking a stance against the stereotypes."

Since the post was shared online, Jara has also received countless comments praising her from strangers. Others are also recounting their experiences about their own wedding looks.

In the post, Jara also makes it clear that she doesn't have anything against a bride who wants to wear expensive clothes, lots of jewelry, or makeup. Her point is that a bride should look the way she wants to look. "It is a problem when she loses her agency in deciding what she would like to wear on her wedding day," she explained. "When the society forces her to doll up and look like a different person, it gives a message that the authentic look of a girl isn't good enough for her own wedding."

(H/T: Glamour)

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