Women Start #WhyIStayed Twitter Trend To Defend Those Who Stay In Abusive Relationships
Just because she stays, doesn't make it her fault.
After TMZ released a video of ex-Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice savagely knocking out his former fiancé (now wife) the internet was outraged.
As the focus shifted from the issue — domestic abuse — and started to focus on his then-fiancee, now-wife Janay Palmer, many people, including the FOX & Friends hosts asked or alluded to one question: Why did she stay?
I can't speak for Janay Rice, but I can speak for Beverly Gooden. Why did I stay? Check out some of my reasons here. Leaving was a process, not an event. And sometimes it takes awhile to navigate through the process.
I believe in storytelling. I believe in the power of shared experience. I believe that we find strength in community. That is why I created this hashtag. I hope those tweeting using #WhyIStayed find a voice, find love, find compassion, and find hope.
Overnight, more women spoke up, similarly as they have with the #YesAllWomen trend which brought awareness to sexism and male entitlement that ultimately kills women. This time, abuse survivors spoke up to let the world know that violence and staying within the cycle of it is more common than you think. And no, doing so doesn't make it your fault.
#whyistayed because anything was better than admitting failure. Admitting they were right about him.— Jaq's Phantom (@disposableJaq) September 9, 2014
I was told marriage is forever. I didn"t want to be a failure #whyistayed— Jessica Merrell (@jmillermerrell) September 9, 2014
Because he told me no one else would love me and I believed him #whyistayed— Heather Nelson (@heatherlisa82) September 9, 2014
Because abusers isolate you from your friends and support systems #whyistayed— Meghan Murphy (@MeghanEMurphy) September 9, 2014
He said he was sorry, he would cry & beg me to stay, he'd get help, he convinced me it was my fault, that i had no one. #WhyIStayed— Nur^2 (@nonins) September 9, 2014
#WhyIStayed because she cried, and promised it would NEVER happen again...— Michelle Crowe (@Elizmichelle) September 9, 2014
Because he'd been in my life for 22 of my 38 years of life. #WhyIStayed— Amanda (@BitingPanda) September 9, 2014
The family responded with a 'What did you do?' And suggested she work harder to be sweet. Because divorce is shameful thing. #WhyIStayed— DNLee (@DNLee5) September 9, 2014
When I tried to leave he would drag me to the bed and pin me down until I was too exhausted to fight anymore #WhyIStayed— AlwaysJen (@Buttercup0303) September 9, 2014
Bc the entire r'ship was built around my desire to help her have a better life. Every time I tried to leave she faked a crisis. #WhyIStayed— Rebecca Epstein (@Writes4Rights) September 9, 2014