We hope you all are ready, because it's almost here: The 17th(!) season of Big Brother starts in just one week. Pretty soon, we'll all be engulfed in another summer of alliances, backstabbing, crazy twists and never-ending plotting that has defined the show for nearly two decades — and we can't wait. So why hold off until the premiere on June 24 to get into the spirit? We've ranked all the season 17 Big Brother houseguests, based on the bios CBS has made available, to determine who we think is most likely to win this year and who won't even make it to jury.
Our method was simple (and utterly scientific, of course): based on all the information we currently have, and our trove of past Big Brother knowledge, we've carefully constructed a definitive list of how we believe these players will stack up against one another. Of course, there's always plenty of room for surprises when it comes to this competition, and there's no telling how being trapped in the BB house and isolated from the outside world will affect any of these people. But we're pretty confident in our selection.
Check out the 14 newest faces who will be entering the house in just one week's time (ranked least to most likely to win). By September, one of them will have made Big Brother history.
14. Meg Maley
Meg is a 25-year-old server from Collingswood, N.J. She seems like a likeable person, but her bio didn't give much of an indication that she'll have what it takes to get down-and-dirty this summer. She says she's "likeable, goofy, intelligent, and adapts to every social situation," but we don't think that's enough to last the entire game.
13. Shelli Poole
Shelli is a 33-year-old interior designer from Atlanta. Her bio says she's "been in relationships for as far back as she can remember," which could be an asset if she decides a showmance is her best strategy to stay in the competition. But she also describes how she didn't apply for Big Brother last summer, because her then-boyfriend made fun of her, "and that was enough for Shelli to push her dreams aside." The fact that she's so easily swayed by others means she's bound to be manipulated by stronger houseguests and probably won't even see her own end coming.
12. Clay Honeycutt
Clay is a 23-year-old grad student from Dickinson, Texas. His only claim to fame is that he played football for Texas A&M, but guys who are obviously strong physical threats are often ousted from the house by more conniving players.
11. Audrey Middleton
Audrey is a 25-year-old digital media consultant from Villa Rica, Ga. She seems prepared to come into the house and play the win ... but she also said that she's going to be basing most of her moves on her fellow houseguests' astrology charts. We'll see how that works out for her.
10. Jace Agolli
Jace is a 23-year-old personal trainer from Dunwoody, Ga. Again, being physically fit may actually hurt him in the competition (no one can win every HOH, after all), unless he can quickly form an alliance that will protect him. But Jace doesn't seem to have much of a strategy at all. When asked what would be the toughest part of living in the house, he answered, "It would be tough to avoid being in everyone's business." Dude, the point of the game is to be in everyone's business.
9. Da'Vonne Rogers
Da'Vonne is a 27-year-old poker dealer from Inglewood, Calif. She keeps track of poker games (and players) for a living, so she has experience practicing strategy, and she'll probably do well on mental and memory challenges. But Da'Vonne also said she "doesn't like to team-up with people," but becoming part of an alliance is necessary to make it to the end. Lone wolves don't last long. She also has a daughter at home (she's the only parent in the cast this season) and being away from her will probably take a mental toll.
8. Steve Moses
Steve is a 22-year-old college student from Gouverneur, N.Y. He seems, at least on paper, to be one of the most intelligent houseguests this season. He went to Cornell and writes music for his trombone. But he might have a tough time collaborating with the other competitors. As he told CBS, "The most difficult part would be dealing with stupid people who choose to completely disregard the consequences of their actions. It's much harder to reason with people who are too nearsighted to even try to think strategically and be in the position where I have to deal with them will be a struggle." Part of being an intelligent gameplayer is hiding your own intelligence and putting up with other people's lack thereof. We'll have to see if Steve can pull off either strategy.
7. Liz Nolan
Liz is a 23-year-old marketing coordinator from Miami. She says that "it will be a little difficult for her to separate the game from her personal feelings," which is not a great attribute if she plans on lasting all season. But she's also identified her weak spots and is therefore planning on "working extra hard on her relationships with the other girls in the house and hopefully be more of a friend, instead of a threat." Do we smell an all-girl alliance? We hope so!
6. Austin Matelson
Austin is a 30-year-old professional wrestler from Woodland Hills, Calif. He also goes by his stage name, Judas Devlin. Austin looks like one of the quirkiest and least predictable houseguests this season. He's a pro wrestler, but he also has a master's degree in medieval history and describes himself as "a flower child who does a yoga stance as opposed to beating down his opponent." We predict his diverse interests will serve him well.
5. Jason Roy
Jason is a 25-year-old supermarket cashier from Fall River, Mass. His loud personality could turn people off, but he also seems to be the competitor who knows the most Big Brother trivia this season. Hopefully he'll be smart enough to make the right friends and not let his need to "check people" get him sent home.
4. John McGuire
John is a 27-year-old dentist from Scranton, Pa. He's the biggest wild card of the season, so we have no idea how his fellow contestants will feel about him. But we're hoping he turns out like Zach Rance, a lovable and hilarious trouble maker, not an annoying or nasty villain. The three adjectives he used to describe himself — "ninja-esque, klutz, and eccentric" — give us hope.
3. James Huling
James is a 31-year-old retail associate from Sumter, S.C. He was in the military for six years, so he'll be accustomed to tough physical challenges and to living in the have-not room, should he be forced to sleep there. He also seems like a fun-loving guy who's doing Big Brother as much for the experience as for the money. We predict he'll bond easily with the other houseguests.
2. Becky Burgess
Becky is a 26-year-old retail manager from Denver. She seems like the perfect sidekick an eventual winner would bring along as their No. 2 (or their fall guy, should things go south). She says she'll be "a strategic and aggressive competitor [the other houseguests] should fear."
1. Vanessa Rousso
Vanessa is a 32-year-old professional poker player from Las Vegas. She's currently ranked as the No. 2 female poker player in the world and has amassed over $4.5 million in winnings. Clearly, she knows how to strategize, keep calm in stressful situations, read people and maintain her poker face. At this point, she's the clear favorite and we hope she maintains her advantage. If she wants to keep her identity a secret, however, Vanessa will have to figure out if Da'Vonne (who's a professional poker dealer) recognizes her or not. Choosing the perfect moment to reveal her identity will be crucial to her gameplay this year.