8 Reasons To Date A Girl With Daddy Issues (It's Not What You Think)
You've probably met a girl or guy like me in your life, maybe you are one.
Hi, my name is Mandy and I'm coming clean: I have daddy issues.
The "issues" started when I was a teenager and managed to slither their way into every relationship I've had with a guy. In high school, I lamented over a break-up as if a family member had died and my grief lasted just as long. My doc deemed my inconsolable heartbreak as abandonment issues, because of having a parent in-and-out of the picture. In college, I avoided breakups all together by staying in an emotionally abusive relationship. He came and went and I loved unconditionally -- a cycle that felt normal, even though it was detrimental.Now, everyone can have relationship issues and no one is immune to getting wrapped up in a bad situation. But it's no secret that the relationship we share with our parents can have a huge impact on how we cope with relationships in our adult lives.
Growing up, my biological father would be around one minute and gone the next -- cheering behind me at my tee-ball games then gone for weeks without a call. I can't name one instance where he picked my brother and me up for the court mandated visitation more than two weekends in a row. His inconsistency was due in part to his own demons, mentally and drug-related, and they took a huge toll on more than just bi-weekly visits. He missed my freshmen year play because he had been arrested and ditched my high school graduation for reasons I'm still unclear of. Since I've graduated college and moved away from my hometown, I've been able to have a better relationship with him, but thanks to his instability throughout my life and in my life, the damage had been done.flic.kr
You've probably met a girl or guy like me in your life, maybe you are one. And while it truly sucks to have a parent that would cause you to be insecure of yourself or your relationships -- no matter what he or she does -- having such a negative connotation, or term even, attached to our experience sucks more. For so long, girls with "daddy issues" have been cast off as emotionally damaged simply for getting doled a bad hand. His issues become your own, and suddenly, you're the punch line of a poorly written rom-com or afraid to tell the guy you're dating about your past.
However, what people don't see is how those with daddy issues have risen above. Coping with the rocky relationships may be a constant battle in our lives, but that does not mean our past defines us, and neither should anyone else.flickr.com
The kind of relationship I've had with my dad and its affects have taken longer than I expected to accept, but I finally feel like I can embrace my status as a woman with "daddy issues." I would never wish anyone to have to go through hardship, but as someone who didn't have a choice, I've come to endear those two words as a right of passage instead of an unfortunate circumstance. You should, too.
We're not afraid to speak our mind.
When you don't get the attention you deserve, you learn to go after it on your own. We learn that the first step to dealing with problems is to talk about them; It's the only way to feel better.
We've loved and lost, and it won't break us.
Sure, we may have had different experiences that have hurt us or let us down, but they don't define us. We may need therapy, deep breaths or a helping hand, but with encouragement, we'll get through hard moments.
We won't settle.
We know exactly what we don't want in a partner, that's for sure. Coming to that realization may take us some time, but we'll get there. We'll also hold others to want the best for themselves as well.
And if we do, we will learn from our mistakes.
We may have been hurt, but we're certainly not stupid. In fact, learning to cope with making mistakes is a natural part of life. We're just really good at it.
We can spot and stay clear of people who only bring us down.
We understand what it feels like to be ignored, abandoned, put down or simply not good enough. We don't like feeling that way and we have enough of that without an added person making us feel the same.
Which makes us very good at knowing the sincere apologies from the fake ones.
We've heard the lies and we've played the games. You can't fool us, we've already fallen for lies before. We know what we deserve.
We keep living.
We're not going anywhere, and we can show everyone else how to, too.If you want to show the world that women with daddy issues ain't ones to mess with, share this with your friends below!