What 'Magic Mike' Would Look Like In Real Life

Pretty sure that's not how you do it.

Watch out, Magic Mike. There's a new, er, male erotic dancer on the block and his name is Magic Matt. 

In a humorous video for comedy site Funny Or Die, Matthew Irving Epstein and Amanda May Gavlick star in a short called "Magic Mike: In Real Life." And it's just as hilariously disappointing as you'd expect. 

Epstein plays the sultry boyfriend trying to seduce his girlfriend.

"My girlfriend has seen 'Magic Mike' 3 times this last week," says Epstein. "I'm here to show her that what she has at home is better than any Tanning Chatum or whatever his name is."

And he does so, in uh, unconventional ways.

Like with this move.

That move.

And this next move ... if you want to call it that.

Where's Tatum when you need him? Godspeed, Amanda!

Check out the full "strip tease" below: