Sexy Halloween costumes are a ritual we love to judge until October 31, when we partake in it like we're allergic to clothes. We're all for people using Halloween as an excuse to wear their most ridiculous freakum dress with minimal judgement. You do you. We also love topical costumes because what better way to live in the present than to adorn yourself in the most 2015 thing you can think of?
Topical costumes and sexy costumes are increasingly popular, and we wouldn't want to show up at a party with the same costume as five other people. That's why we've come up with some relevant costumes we'd love to see turned sexy. Here are a couple for you to choose from.
1. Dayum Emails.
Commemorate Hillary Clinton's not-so-slightly inflated email scandal by printing out the weirdest dating site message you've gotten. Here's some inspiration. Bring out your finest pantsuit for this one.
2. Sexy Map Of Compton.
Thanks to "Straight Outta Compton," everyone loves '90s gangsta rap now. They're two decades late to the party, but it's cool, the same could be said for all the Beethoven fans out there. If you're one of those people who a year ago didn't know who Tupac was but is now an expert on rap, celebrate it! Show the world how much you've worked to accelerate your appreciation for hip hop by showing how well you've studied its West Coast epicenter. As a map, you have plenty of attire options. You can opt for a form-fitting dress/gender-neutral onesie like the map in "Dora the Explorer." Or, if you're really trying to show your six-pack, just wear a swimsuit and strap a Garmin to your arm. Just remember to Express Yourself!
3. Sexy Popemobile.
The Popemobile is the most famous see-through Jeep in the world, so wear all your sheerest clothes for this one. Heeled combat boots are a great way to get the jeep motif across.
4. Sexy Disappointed Antonin Scalia.
Marriage equality! Oh noez! Being disappointed Supreme Court minority opinionista Antonin Scalia is a great chance to perfect that pouty smokey-eyed look! Just no drunk crying. No one ever knows how to handle drunk crying.
5. Sexy Underappreciated Soccer Ball #USWNT.
In case you missed it, which actually isn't unlikely, the U.S. Women's National Team won the World Cup this year! Congratulate them for this incredible feat by being a sexy underappreciated soccer ball. Dress yourself in a painstakingly crafted papier-mâché ball, or just cover your body in black and white hexagon rhinestones. Sure the cutest people at the party will go for people whose costumes/sexiness are definitely not anywhere close to your level, but you're the real winner here! Towards the end of the party, people will start to notice you and you might even crowd surf a little bit, so it'll be worth it.
6. Sexy Donald Trump.
Wear only a deluxe extra fantastic orange fur coat, maybe paired with dollar sign stockings. The coat can be reused next year if you wish to be a Cheeto. It's gonna be YUGE.
7. Unsexy Netflix And Chill.
It's time for someone to Martin Luther (yes, we just made that a verb) Netflix and chill and bring it back to what it originally was about: watching Netflix and chilling. Throw on your frumpiest pajamas, wear a pizza pouch, and sit in a corner re-watching season two of "Orange Is The New Black" on your laptop because it's time to take back the Netflix and chill philosophy.