First dates can be stressful.
How to dress? Where to go? What to order? Open up with a joke or stay serious? All these questions and restless thoughts can be circling your mind while you're trying to charm the person in front of you.
However, one of the biggest first date puzzles is which conversation topics to cover. And it's not so much about what to say, but more about what NOT to say.
Besides some obvious dating faux pas, like spending time on your phone or getting hammered, discussing certain topics can be considered a deal-breaker as well.
However, Reddit user shadowrangerfs decided to uncover this treasure chest and let men speak their minds on what questions they wish to ask on first dates, but can't because they're considered inappropriate.
Here's what the men said:
"Are you going to pressure me into committing to a relationship when I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about you as a potential romantic partner?" — Greyfeld.
"Am i wasting my time?" — monkeybawz.
"Relationship intentions. I don't care for casual dating, so when I go out with someone, I am trying to find a girlfriend, but that's a little awkward to come out and say." — PigeonsOnYourBalcony.
Others are particularly interested in sexual compatibility:
"What's your ideal sex life?" — iggybdawg.
Discussions about religion and long-term goals would be a hit:
"All the big deal-breaker questions. Such as: Do you want kids? Where do you want to live long-term? What (if any) religion do you follow? And how important are the answers you just gave are to you? — yokohama11.
"Instead of having to ask about what they do on Sunday mornings in a roundabout way, I wish I could just ask, 'Are you religious,' and, 'What's your stance on pre-marital sex?' So I can get a move on." — strooglecoodle.
As well as talking about the other person's character traits and common behavior:
"If you get upset, will you tell me why, or just ignore me and treat me like sh*t for not knowing the reason?" — Cant-Find-Username.
"Have you ever cheated on someone? How do you react when you're angry? Do you yell? Do you blame others without thinking that it's possibly your fault? Do you smash things? Do you punch walls? Do you punch people? Or are you a more logical and balanced person that is honest about mistakes and can talk things out? Any potentially life-ending diseases you've got? ...do you like Disney? Are you into video games or just Call of Duty/World of Warcraft?" — icewolf123.
There were also those who would like to talk money first:
"How much money do you make or something along those lines. Women straight up ask my net worth, yearly income, my job, career goals, but I am not allowed to ask women the same. I know, because I've tried it on several females before, even if just in response to their financial questions. I get guarded answers at best." — DPestWork.
Although the questions vary, each seem to focus on one thing — honesty.
And despite the fact that some people express a fear of seeming too demanding, it's really about the way you communicate your thoughts to the other person.
Tell them you want to be open with each other. Tell them you're genuinely interested in their opinion. Be gentle and considerate of their responses and it's all going to be just fine. Or, you know, just sign up for a dating site that requires users to fill out extensive preliminary surveys.