14 Solid Reasons Why You Shouldn't Pass Out At A Party
New Year's shindigs are around the corner. Take notes, people!
1. If you're lucky, you will become the canvas for a masterpiece.
2. If you're not, you'll turn into a unibrowed cowgirl.
3. Chances are, you will fall asleep on the floor and become a crime scene for LEGO figurines to investigate.
4. Things will be stacked on you. Inevitably.
5. Layers and layers of things.
6. There will be sunshine, unicorns and rainbows. On your back.
7. And friends will make sure you wake up fully clothed. Sort of...
8. People will mess with your tattoos.
9. And give you temporary makeovers.
10. Because 'it don't matter if you're black or white.'
11. That's a nice mask. Oh, wait...
12. You can only hope these markers are not permanent permanent.
13. But even if there are no markers at hand, your friends will think of ways to humiliate your lousy drunk ass.
14. Actually, anything works. Toothpaste, ketchup, hand lotion...
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