This Man Will Sit On Your Shelf, Dressed As An Elf, For $100 An Hour

"[I will] sit in any location you assign me while I stare emptily at your guests for the duration of the event."

In what might be the most amazing Craigslist ad this holiday season, one man from Boston has offered his services to be your very own living Elf on the Shelf for $100 an hour. 

His ad reads: 

"For $100/hour I will come to your holiday party, dressed as the Elf on the Shelf, and sit in any location you assign me while I stare emptily at your guests for the duration of the event.

I specialize in holiday themed events, either yours or an un-expecting friend's, but I also offer contracted private investigation and babysitting services. Please inquire about these rates, as they are negotiable based on the task at hand.

My services have been in high demand this season, so I now require at least 48 hours notice in advance of any bookings and appreciate your understanding.

Thank you, and happy holidays!

[whatever you want my name to be]"

Whether or not this is a joke, we're hoe hoe hoeing all the same. (Sorry, had to.)

The Huffington Post identified the living elf as 28-year-old Jesse Brower. Brower told the publication that since posting the ad, he's gotten several requests for his services. 

But if $100 an hour is a little steep for you (though it's totally worth it), then just buy the fake Elf on the Shelf version for $29.95.