John Oliver Hilariously Reveals Why Americans Are Better Off With Their Independence

Take it from a Brit.

Last Week Tonight didn't air a new episode on Sunday, but host John Oliver made sure to record a web exclusive video wishing his viewers a happy Independence Day. 

"Or as they call it where I'm from," he added, "July the fourth."

As a Brit, Oliver is in the perfect position to share with Americans everything they've missed out on since declaring independence from Britain in 1776.

First of all, there's the difference in accents. "These beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours," he says, "but instead, from sea to shining sea, you speak like you just burned your tongue on a hot apple pie."

Sure, having a British accent might be nice, but otherwise those of us in the states don't seem to have lost much. Bowler hats, for example, are hardly a coveted addition to our wardrobes, especially after the phallic comparison Oliver makes to describe them.

And while America is often defined by its idealism, Brits are a more pessimistic bunch. 

"British people never make the mistake of developing self-esteem," Oliver explains, "because no matter what we achieve, deep down we know we'll never be as good as the Queen, which is to say an elderly woman who frowns for a living."

Even John Oliver has to admit we're probably better off. Hear the rest of his reasoning in the video below: