If you've ever been on a long car ride or a teenager's birthday party, you've probably played Would You Rather? Hallie Bateman, a self-proclaimed "illustwriter," has breathed new, creative life into the classic game with a set of clever cartoons published on her Twitter.
So, would you rather surf on a tortilla chip in a salsa wave or inner tube in a donut down a warm coffee river? There's only one way to find out ...
1. Catch a wave or go with the flow?
Surfing on a tortilla chip sounds like a dipping good time, but ... salsa is spicy. Perhaps too spicy. If you were to get some in your eye accidentally, you'd be in some intense pain. One doughnut floaty, please!
2. Body by Crayola or creepy crawlies?
Besides the facts that live ants would be really different to catch, much less swallow, they just don't seem appetizing. And besides, we've all probably eaten the equivalent of a crayon over the span of our childhoods, so how hard could it be to eat a whole box?
3. Edible hair or eatable hands?
Using chopsticks is an acquired skill, which means using them to do everything — not just eat — could take years of practice. Compare that to all the time you'd save not needing to style your already perfect chow mein mane. No competition.
4. Winking Waldo or Chatty Cathy?
Having to say everything twice would be repetitive and redundant (and repetitive and redudant). At least if you have to wink after every sentence someone might think you're flirting with them, and you could get a date (free food!) out of it.
5. Watch your head or cover your mouth?
Everyone remembers the classic ad campaign slogan, "Nothing comes between me and my cal ... ories."Or at least, they should. Hard pass on anything that could impede one's ability to eat and, you know, survive.
6. "The Princess and the Frog" or "Fievel Goes West"?
They say, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince," but you can really speed up that process if you're in the right place at the right time. Coincidentally, they also say, "It's all about location, location, location!" Whoever "they" are probably lives on a lily pad.
7. Yuck or yum?
No one even likes candy corn.
8. Pepperoni pants or syrup sweater?
While it could be fun leaving a Hansel and Gretel-style syrup trail behind you everywhere you go, it could also become a bit of a hassle. Logistically speaking, the pizza pantsuit is more feasible, not to mention figure flattering.
9. Ride in style or mortal danger?
Pretty much everyone's fantasized about being carried around in a giant kangaroo pouch. The same cannot be said for a humongous pelican beak — probably because if/when it closes you'd be deprived of oxygen and/or swallowed whole. Your kangaroo mom would never do that to you.