The insanely popular blog "Humans Of New York" is filled with the beautiful, insightful, and complicated thoughts of New Yorkers, but it's seriously lacking certain residents of the city.
Don't worry, comedian Jim Tews has picked up on their absence, so he's sharing their stories on his own blog "Felines of New York." He captions the photographs he takes of New York's finest felines with the hilarious thoughts they're probably having.
"I was reading 'Humans of New York' a lot, and I just thought it would be funny if it were cats," Tews told A Plus. "Because if we've learned anything from the evolution of the Internet, it's that everything is funnier with cats."
You'll notice that a ton of the "Felines Of New York" photos are shot in apartments. Some of these cats belong to Tew's friends, but many are the pets of total strangers who responded to a form on Tews's website, asking people to let him into their homes to photograph their cats.
"I thought nobody would be OK with that, but I ended up getting hundreds of responses in a fairly short amount of time," Tews said.
You may want to sign your own cat up after checking out the photos below:
"We're really taking the time to figure each other out, and it's going great. We realized, ultimately, we both want the same thing."
- Jooney, Harlem
"I was a mess in my early twenties. I spent a lot of time in places I didn't belong, with other cats who were no good for me. Picking the scraps off of fishbones on a garbage can lid. That was my rock bottom."
- Michelle, Harlem
"I tried the vegan thing for a while, but then the woman dropped a little piece of tuna on the ground. I ate it without thinking. I just went back to eating meat after that."
"How long were you a vegan?"
"A few hours."
- Unknown, Williamsburg
"I was crazy in love with this Blue Russian for a while, but she had to end it. Her family was moving back to the midwest. I don't know where that is, but if this window ever opens, I'm going to find it."
"I've never tried pizza. Oh wow, that's kind of embarrassing, I've never said that out loud. I'm a New Yorker, born and raised, and I've never tried pizza."
"How have you never eaten pizza?"
"I guess, I mean, I've tried a few times but I'd always get caught. Then I sort of lost interest."
- Yola, Upper East Side
"I've been a runway model since I was two. It's unfortunate, but this is a young cat's game and I don't think I've got much more time left. I'll probably start my own line when they no longer want to see me strut."
- Wesley, Bushwick
"I was supposed to coach little league this summer, but that fell through."
"Politics, mostly. Some parents just can't accept me being a coach. We're just not there socially, I guess."
- Gordon, Astoria
"Stress is a problem for everyone these days, I mean, you can't let it get to you. Lately I've been trying to slow down and take things one nap at a time. Why think three naps ahead when you haven't even finished the one in front of you?"
"I have three siblings I haven't seen since we were all kittens. I wouldn't mind tracking them and my parents down. I want to learn more about my past. I'm probably royalty or something."
- Mr. Peepers
"I had kind of a quarter life crisis last year where I was like, comparing myself to a lot of other cats my age who seemed to have a lot more going for them. Then I realized, you're only given nine lives and if you spend time comparing yourself to others, you're going to waste them. That's why I'm fine just sitting here most of the time."
"It's important to stay curious. I understand it can be dangerous, in fact, it's ended a few of my friends. But you can't stay in your safe space forever."
- Chester, Manhattan
"A lot of people think we hate Mondays, but that's a common stereotype reinforced by the media. We actually have no idea what day it is."
"I try to live by that Maya Angelou quote: 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' "
"How do you think you make people feel?"
"Needed, but also not needed at all. And completely unappreciated."
- Motley, Manhattan
"I had a pretty impressive collection of vintage guitars, but she got them all in the divorce."
- Sailor, Upper East Side
"I'll probably start playing the lottery again soon. The last time I played, I don't think I won anything, but the scratching-off part was incredibly satisfying."
- Matthew, Upper East Side
"I should buy a boat."
"Haha, yeah you do look like that Internet meme."
"What are you talking about?"
- Chandler, Brooklyn
"I don't need anybody. That's not hyperbole. I literally don't need you, or anyone. Do not touch me."
- Alex, Harlem
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