10 Resumes That Will Make You Weep For Humanity's Future

This is why Human Resources departments exist.

Looking for a job is a full-time job, but just like any other full-time job, not everyone puts in the same amount of work and energy in doing it. Some people need a little experience, other people... Well, you're about to see what other people need. 

Some of the resumes we're featuring here are obviously people amusing themselves: trolls that may or may not bring a little lightheartedness into otherwise humdrum office spaces. Others, however, probably won't be collecting anything bigger than the very large reality check that comes with unemployment. 

If you're out there looking for a job, take heart: there's one out there for you and there are plenty of people who definitely pose no threat insofar as offering competition for compensation.

Enjoy.

1. There's honesty and then there's TMI. This is TMI.

Resume level: Nefarious Dude

It reads, in part:

"Marijuana Dealer and Nefarious Dude - 1999 to 2004

• Intuitive Understanding of Supply and Demand Economics
• Good With Money
• Ran my own Delivery Service
• Had a Consistent Clientele with High Customer Satisfaction
• Gained Intimate Access to Several very Exclusive County Jails
• Learned a Valuable Life Lesson"

2. Troll Level: Permanently Unemployed.

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He'll probably end up running a company... into the ground.

3. Just a little bit aggressive.

Saw this resume on LinkedIn today.
...And not in a "go-getter" way.

4. Going to be looking again tomorrow? Check.

Resume like a boss
That's not how you spell "taupe." 

5. The Catch-22 of work: you need experience to gain experience.

Got this resume today. Think I should hire him?
I actually feel kind of bad for this guy.

6. You know what they say about first impressions...

This is from an actual resume. Grammar you not!

7. Management material.

Someone submitted this resume at my office today.

8. File Under: Why You Will Be Replaced By Robots.

I'm a Recruiter for a software company- this was on an applicants resume

9. Applying for position of Migraine Headache? Hired!

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U trolling, bro?

10. Wearing that shirt might have been a poor choice.

A resume I was handed a few months back.