Here's Why Your Article About Following Me Across America Sucked

Go home, K.S., you're drunk.

Where do I even BEGIN?

Long story short, K.S. Anthony is a friend of mine and he fell in love with me, screwed up, got drunk, and then got on a train from Boston to New York to come and try to win my heart or something. 

I mean, that's very romantic and all, but then he wrote about it and... Just NO. Here's what I learned.

Also, I am not Emma Watson. That's just a GIF I found.

1. Listicles are only interesting if they're not personal.

K.S., seriously. The writing was good, but why the Hell would anyone care?He totally failed the "who cares?" test. MAKE IT LESS PERSONAL. 

2. There is such a thing as TOO MANY GIFS.

They're overwhelming! It's like watching someone trying to pick a movie on Netflix or flip through the channels.

Also, stop using Gossip Girl GIFs. That show ended THREE years ago. JUST STOP. 

And I swear, K.S., if you use one more GIF from "The Notebook..." I am so done.

3. Some guys do suck at communicating.

He could have saved himself a very long train ride if he had just, you know, talked to me.

I know, but that wouldn't have been "romantic."

MESSAGE TO ALL MEN: LEARN. TO. USE. YOUR. WORDS. 

It's not hard. Here's how:

1) Think about what you really want to say.

2) SAY IT. 

3) LISTEN TO WHAT IS SAID AFTER.

4. It's not hard to be honest about what you feel. It's hard to be honest with YOURSELF about what you feel.

You don't want to say "I love you" because you're afraid of rejection? Dumbass, what would rejection change about love? You're afraid of feeling stupid, afraid of feeling unwanted...? No, you're afraid of honesty. Deal with that fear and then deal with the feelings around it. 

5. Philosophy can lead to overthinking things. STOP THAT.

Stop overthinking things. It's really uninteresting. If you have to overthink things, please do it on paper.

6. Love should be fun, not a torment.

Sometimes people read too much F. Scott Fitzgerald. No one is Daisy Buchanan. No one is Jay Gatsby. Nobody wants you to be Jay Gatsby. As far as books go, that's not a happy ending. At all.

It's funny, K.S. talks about no one being a martyr, but it's because he slips so easily into the books he love or the things he writes. 

That's fine, but that's not us. Books aren't people. Movies aren't people.

I like you. Readers, your significant other likes YOU. Just enjoy that. It's better than a book. It's the best thing.

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