The following is a list of Reddit posts responding to the question, "Redditors that have gone on tinder dates what was your worst and weirdest experiences?"
Warning: This post contains some sexual content.
1. The "Usher"
We went on three dates. The next time she asked to see me, I told her I was visiting family and wouldn't be available until the following weekend. In that moment, she freaked out and sent me a 7 page long text about how I destroyed what could have been a perfect relationship and that she wanted to marry me still if I would just put her first. She then left me a voicemail of her singing "U Got It Bad" by Usher while crying and saying she loved me over and over. Two days later she sent me pictures of her burning a bucket list she had made for us.
Glad I got out of that one unscathed.
2. "And you don't have it."
Perfectly nice date, 20 minutes in to it, she says, "I'll be honest. I know what I need in a man, and you don't have it."
At 25, I would have been crushed. Wondering what "it" was would've kept me up for days. Being 35, I thanked her for being blunt and was happy to have an unexpectedly free evening.
3. When scrabble ends relationships.
Most have been pretty normal and good.
There was this one girl I met up with for drinks. She was really cute... 23, nice skin, great hair, fit, just out of sorority girl. We inhaled a handful of cocktails in about 30 minutes... I was just trying to keep up and chit chat, but she was like let's get out of here, which I'm always ok with.
We get back to my place and I got my game face on and half my clothes off. Then she sees Scrabble. Now, I'm very good... friends/family would say excellent. There was a period of 2-3 years where I was playing several games per day at least. She reallllllly wants to play a quick game and starts shit talking. So I smoke her. Absolutely, positively, fucking torch the hell out of her. Like 550-225 or something in that range. I'm making plays instantly, words you've never heard of, bingos all over, playing brutal d... it's a murder. She gets pissed and storms out. Never got to bang her, but I know deep down she's still mad about that game and it makes me a lot happier than an orgasm a few years ago would.
4. An accidental prostitute
So I was in Shanghai for work, and decided to see what was happening on Tinder. I had to use a VPN to get around the great firewall.
Anyway, matched with a girl and chatted briefly. She asked if I wanted to meet at her hotel for a drink. Alarm bells should have been ringing Willy.
So I shower up, pop a breath mint, and smash out a lucky panda cigarette whilst flagging down a cab. I get to her hotel and to my astonishment, she is the woman in the profile, waiting for me at the hotel bar.
Have a few cocktails and things are going well, she's friendly, seems really into me, then she asks if I want to go up to her room for "some more drinks".
Dear diary: JACKPOT!
So we make our way upstairs and she doesn't waste any time and jumps straight in.
When all was said and done I thought "right, time to do the shanghai shuffle!" So I'm putting my clothes on and about to leave and she ways "what about my money baby?"
My heart sinks quicker than a mob snitch swimming in concrete boots.
I ask her what she means, "Not for free sex, 3,000 RMB!" she replies which is just shy of $500. Fuck me, I'd just rooted a hooker!
So a heated argument begins and I'm planning my escape lest there be a pimp waiting outside. She starts screaming at me and hotel security arrive on the scene and hustle me down to the lobby.
She follows in tow demanding her money, screaming, yelling, making a scene. Everyone's looking. I've really hit rock bottom here.
Then I see someone get out of a cab outside the hotel entrance. I gap it and leap into the cab, telling the driver to "DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE" in the worst Chinese possible. I probably said something offensive. But the power of the all mighty yuan saves the day and he speeds off, taking me back to my hotel where I can hit a bottle of scotch and reflect on what the actual fuck just happened.
5. The fifty shades of NOPE
went to see fifty shades of grey, got a blowy in the parking lot, got caught by a security guard on a segway.... ended up with chlamydia........ I no longer tinder.
6. An unexplained exit
I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos which is always a nice surprise. The date went well, just dinner and a walk, and we said our goodbyes. The next day she invited me out to a friend's birthday party downtown as her +1. I wanted to go but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn't know. She said "That's alright, you can park at my house and sleep over."(Cha-ching!) So, of course, I said yes.
Fast forward to the middle of the party, I'm enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time and next thing I know she absolutely loses it and storms out of the bar leaving me there. Drunk. With her friends. I still have no idea why.
One of them told me "She wants you to go after her!" and I said "Fuck that, it's our second date." which not a single person blamed me for. I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends. That was over a year ago, and I still regularly hang out with them. They have since stopped talking to her.
7. A nerve wracking first date
oh god. I have had several awkward tinder dates. the worst was this guy who was 23 and had pretty much grown up on the computer. usually don't mind guys having a gaming hobby. any hobby is great as it shows you have a passion for something. but it should be a hobby it shouldn't rule your life.
anyway I offered to meet him at the uni we both attended to grab a coffee, but he insisted on going to the local shopping complex despite the fact that he didn't drive. no idea how he got there. he ended up being around 30 mins late. ok. I can deal with that. when we finally meet he's so nervous he's shaking like a Chihuahua. and barely able to speak. I get it. first dates can be nerve-wracking. we sit down to sushi and there is absolute dead silence. I start asking him questions to start the conversation but all I get is 2 word replies...right. this is getting a bit more frustrating.I even ask him questions about what games he likes (I do know a bit about games) but all I get is condescending answers. i'm starting to feel more like an interrogator than a date. suddenly he perks up and goes
"uhh...I have to go. there's a LAN party on"
ok mate. you're not feeling comfortable on this date thats fine. even though you suggested it and you were so confident online. so we part ways.
the kicker comes about 4:30am the next morning. i'm working an overnight shift at Maccas and this group of guys come in. Chihuahua boy is in the group, being a whole lot more confident (I get it, it's easier being social with friends). they walk in talking about "bitches" and how "fucking fake gamer bitches" ruined their Lan Party (I wish I was making this up) he goes to order. and doesn't realise it's me. they leave a huge mess behind (i'm talking purposely smearing ice cream on the table and chairs plus more) because it's the employees job to clean up.
the next afternoon i get a message from him asking if i'd like to meet up with him again. I politely said no. He called me a fat bitch. never saw him again.
8. When you're not sure you found the right person...
Met up for a coffee after having quite a nice chat over tinder for a few days. He sits down and says "hey nice to meet you", then continues to pull out his laptop and sit there in complete silence for the next hour. I had nothing with me but my phone, since I thought coffee date means conversation. Should've left sooner.
9. Toilet talk.
My profile pic is a toilet. The first time I met a girl we actually talked about toilets for an hour.
Friend from class matched with my then girlfriend (now ex). He informed me of the match and proceeded to set up a coffee date. Instead of him showing up to the date, I did. I had the pleasure of watching my girlfriend freak the fuck out.
11. A not-so-funny-creep
Met one charmer after talking for a few weeks. After agreeing to meet at a nearby coffee shop, I show up right on time. Ten minutes later I get a text from him to "come outside." Seems sketchy but there's people about, so why not? I stand directly in front and he appears out of nowhere in a hoodie. We walk a bit before he asks me to walk down a darkly-lit street. I say I'm uncomfortable and he immediately starts waking away. I assume he's joking and call him only to hear him screaming at me on the other end. He sends me a text a couple of days later insulting my hair and telling me to "suck my big dick you negress bitch."
12. When you're a littleeeee to excited.
I know I'm late to the party but man do I have a doozy!!
So last year after getting out of a horrible sort of relationship, I decided to try something casual and use tinder. Got lots of responses, everything is going well. The dates were mostly lack luster and I figured I was just being too picky. So I decided "the next 5 people to ask me on a date gets a yes!"
So the first guy I'm able to go on a date with wants me to drive into the city (45 minutes away) so we would has more stuff to do. Annoying but sorta understandable as I'm in a suburb without much exciting things to do.
We meet, he looks like his pictures, we say hello and he tells me that we're gonna go play soccer in the park. Cool! I love sports. On the way we start talking and asking questions about each other, and I'm getting the vibe we aren't such a great match. I love to travel, he has 0 desire. He only likes obscure sports, I love them all. But hey, I'm here. Stick with it.
The entire time he talks about how he makes soooo much money and how embarrassing it is for his friend to only make 60k a year at his dream job. I make half of that. I would have left considering the love connection, or lack there of, but I figured I'd be polite until after lunch.
We head out and we arrive. Dollar taco. Which don't get me wrong, you don't have to splurge. But he looked me up and down and said "you gotta earn your meals first" and gave me a creepy fucking smile. Nope. I feign a fake phone call and have to leave, but he insists on walking me to my car.
We get there, and I try to shrug him off and GTFO but then...it happens.
He leans in for a kiss. But not just any kiss. Open mouth, tongue out. And as he leans in, his crotch brushes against my leg. Unfortunately for him, the soccer shorts didn't conceal his raging hard on.
So I did what any caught off guard girl would do.
I accidentally laughed in his mouth. Oops. I was too awkward to say anything and just got in the car, driving away.