11 Clean Jokes For Kids That Are Actually Funny

Laugh with the little ones.

Having kids is no doubt a wonderful experience, but among the things you have to leave behind in their presence is the beauty of a hilarious, multilayered dirty joke. It's sad, but it's true — even if kids could understand the complexities of a good joke, it'd more than likely be totally inappropriate for them anyway. So, what's someone to do when they want good jokes for kids that aren't entirely dull?

Pixar is easily the king of blending child-appropriate humor with interesting story points and adult themes. From the original Toy Story to the upcoming The Good Dinosaur, Pixar movies are chock-full of elements that make kids laugh, and clever gags and references only adults will pick up on.

Switching on a Pixar movie isn't always possible when you want to have a quick laugh with your kid, though. That's why it's important to put together a wide arsenal of clever yet clean jokes to whip out at a moment's notice. Not only will you make your kids laugh with them, but set them up to be sharp early on in life such that their sense of humor will become strong later in life.

Here are 11 of the best clean jokes for kids that are also decently funny:

1. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

2. The Lady On the Train

Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting next to her turns to her and says, "Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it's going to shatter. You oughta put a bag on that baby's head. That baby is just ugly."

The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. "Conductor, this man has insulted me."

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," the conductor replies. "What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We'll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey."

3. Why do ducks have flat feet?

To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stomp out flaming ducks.

4. Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves?

A panda.

5. The Classic Banana-Orange Knock-Knock Joke

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"

*Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

6. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

7. I Can't Eat This Soup

Old man comes into a restaurant, sits at his usual table and orders the usual — matzoh ball soup.

The waiter sets it down in front of him and stands back to watch him enjoy it. But the man just sits there.

"Is there something wrong?" the waiter asks.

"I can't eat this soup," the man replies.

"Is it too hot?" the waiter asks. "No." "Too cold?" "No." "Too salty?" "No."

The waiter calls for the maitre d' and for the chef, and each goes through the same routine: "Too hot?" "Too cold?" "No, no no."

Finally the chief, at his wits end, says, "Sir, I will taste the soup myself. Where is the spoon?"

Says the old man: "Aha!"

8. Two Muffins in an Oven.

There are two muffins in an oven.

One muffin turns to the other muffin and says, "Boy, it's hot in here."

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

9. What did one eye say to the other eye?

Don't look now, but something between us smells.

10. Where does the president keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

11. Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

(H/T: BuzzFeed)

Cover image: Pixabay