National Adoption Month

17 People Who Are Adopted Explain The Things Non-Adopted People Don't Understand

"Making a child is easy. Raising one is the hard part."

November is National Adoption Month. In honor of the month, we will be bringing attention to the thousands of people in foster care awaiting forever homes, as well as those who provide and advocate for them. These stories emphasize the idea that families are bound together by the love they share, rather than their biological roots.  

A lot of people can't help but feel curious when they learn someone is adopted. Their life experience may be different from their own because of it. Questions like, "Do you know who your biological parents are?" "When and how did you find out you were adopted?" or even "Why did your birth parents give you up?" often come up. While it's natural to have such questions, it's important to also be educated on the subject as there are many misconceptions about adoption

To clear up some of those misconceptions, Reddit user rex_francis took to the social platform earlier today to ask, "Redditors who are adopted: what don't non-adopted people understand about it?" In just a few hours, the thread has received over 750 comments. 

The responses give some real insight into the lives of adopted people, but they also show one important fact: people who are adopted can have very different experiences than one another. Some people may have an open adoption and know their biological parents while others may not. Some may be interested in contacting their birth family while others may have no interest in ever speaking with them. Some may have found a happy, healthy home with their adoptive parents while others may have never felt connected to them. Some are interested in taking DNA tests to find out more about themselves while others couldn't care less. And some may love talking about their experiences as an adopted person while others would rather not.  

We appreciate those who took the time to share their experiences so that more people can understand what it's like to be adopted. We collected some of the interesting responses and shared them below.

1. "There can be some questions that are brought up throughout your life that you can't answer easily."

2. "Making a child is easy. Raising one is the hard part."

3. "All adoptions are different."

4. "I am not broken."

5. "Blood isn't everything."

6. "I always wonder if my biological mom ever held me. I wonder why she gave me up, if it was for the best."

7. "I have zero interest in meeting my biological parents."

8. "I’m Chinese and my adopted family is White. I struggled with (and still do) being comfortable with myself and my race."

9. "The parents I have now, have, in my view, always been my parents."

10. "I only have two parents I care about and I don't care who gave birth to me."

11. "The fact that I have a strong pull toward my biological family and wanted to find them doesn’t mean I had a 'bad adoption,' it doesn’t mean I’m 'ungrateful.'"

12. "People don't get just how fucked up it sounds when you say shit like, 'Oh, I could never adopt, I have to have my own biological children.' Especially when you say it around someone who is adopted."

13. "I don't ever think about my biological parents."

14. "It's absolutely OK to ask me about it."

15. "I don't think people understand that I have no blood relatives."

16. "All four of my parents, adopted, and biological, are people who I have unique relationships with."

17. "Adoption isn't at all a bad thing. So many kids get new chances at life and that's beautiful."

Cover image via Unsplash

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